Broken heart at your own fault

Imagine yourself being the main character in the story:

You really love that person, but you don’t have the guts to express your love for her. You have nothing to do but just imagine how the two of you will be a family - having your children. You can't even tell her your feelings because you just don’t want to be hurt. You are afraid of rejection. You are just satisfied on loving her.

On the other hand, you have your most trusted and so-called best friend, you expect him to be there to suport you in whatever problems there will be. You treat him just like your brother - always trusting him on everything because you know that this friend is your “second you”.

You always share your feelings to your best friend, expressing how you really love the girl, you even asked for advice on what to do and on how to show your feelings for her, yet you are just there, just hoping but nothing to do.

Time passes by and everybody gets busy with your own lives. College seems to be the reason for everyone to be far from one another. You don’t hear any news from them anymore, FS, YM, and SMS are the only communications you get to stay posted about them, yet those aren’t enough because you can't see them personally.

Till one night, your bestfriend asks you, if you still love the girl you usually share to him. The girl you are in love for so long, yet you are so "torpe" to tell her. You'll say in your reply that you still dream of her with you and that you are still in love with her.

Your bestfriend will bow his head…

and suddenly he’ll just tell you sorry for everything, because your dream-girl and him are now in a mutual understanding. No one ever told you, not even your best friend.

What would you feel?


Then, he'll continue on explaining things. Things that are much of a murmur than a word because you are so angry on him.

On some point, well let's say, on ALL points, who are you to break their love affair? You can't blame both of them, because you haven't done anything about it.

But, the friend you trusted for years, who promised to help you in everything to let her know that you love her. You trusted this person, even share the things you always experience, and all, yet he’ll do this to you.. damn him!

 Are you gonna fight for your love? or just give up for your friend?

 Here's the truth to face:

...you can't do anything but to give up the love you felt for a long time and let it go as if nothing happened, just tell your “BEST? friend” to take care of her, and just let her feel the love you kept for years. Anyhow, you haven't done anything at all, so why be angry? Still the blame is in you, not in the love you kept for her neither on your bestfriend.

-wooden heart-

HIGHSCHOOL FRIENDS during COLLEGE DAYS.

Date: September 7, 2008

Places: Brisa’s Dorm, Gateway, Farmer’s Cubao

Planado na na may meeting ang barkada, yet nagdalawang isip pa akong sumama, kasi alam ko na kokonti lang naman ang makakarating for sure.

Tinext nako nitong bestfriend ko, asan na daw ako. Sabi ko “dito pa hawz, nagdadalawang isip pa ko eh.”, but i sensed na madami na ata sila.

Kaya, nagmadali akong mag-ayos ng sarili ko, sumakay ako ng RRCG, bumaba ng Recto, lakad kina brisa’s dorm, hanggang sa nakita ko sina:

louies, my cute little sister

arvhie, the sweet joker, she got her hair cut, kaya naninibago ako nung una.

emerson, the self-defender

brisa, my long lasting buddy

and

Jei, the golden girl in her yellow shirt (favorite color din nya yun).

while waiting for others to arrive, naghalo-halo na lang muna ang iba.

Then, finally we decided to fetch them from the computer shop. Going down the stairs are the DOTA Varsities namely:

Fred, the guy in his dream hairdo

Ped, the all time “peki” ng barkada

Archie, the future “volcano maker” (hahaha!)

and Tabor, the ever critic-minded person..

Sa Gateway, through the LRT line 2: brisa, arvz, mec, jei and i exchanging jokes with that “blackstreet”, the “death of a maya on a rainy day” and the “kalabaw and the mango tree”.

As we walk, we reached gateway, hindi kami tumigil sa pagtatawanan at palaisipan. 

We met Ace, hasn't changed a lot. Tapos si libardo, who changed a lot, w/ eyeglasses and his cool hairstyle. Lastly, we met thea on her yellow jeans and loose shirt.

Sa Farmers' Plaza kami kumain, isang mall malapit lang sa gateway, at nawala pa tong si Tabor. haha. 

Hindi kasya ang dalawang table para magkasya kami. Dumating din kasi si Kath A., ang witty pretty ng barkada at si Rain, ang tallest of us all. Naka-violet pa pareho, aba at nagusap ata. haha.

Pagkatapos namin kumain, pumunta ulit kami sa gateway cinemas floor para pagusapan sa carpet ang binabalak na outing for sembreak.

At wala pa ring napagdesisyunan kung kelan. hahaha.

Pero pagkatapos nun, go home na ang lahat. LRT pa rin, kaso iba iba na destinasyon… V. Mapa, Pureza, Legarda and Recto.. - dyan naghiwalay ang lahat.

15 pala kami nakarating… nakakatuwa.. hehehe…

I conclude:

Old friends are still the best of all.. kahit na magbalak pa na wala namang patutunguhan.. importante ay magkakwentuhan at magka-sama-sama. Wala pa ring tatalo sa samahan ng aming batch.

“..spread the PAX virus..”

Ang pagsisimba sa Mall

Date: September 7, 2008

Place: SM Centerpoint (Sta. Mesa)

Nito lang, sumimba kame sa SM, 10 min before, maunti pa ang tao. Umabot pa nga kami sa mga upuan, buti nakaupo kami, at pagkatapos ay nagrosary muna. At nagmass na.

napakadami pa rin pala ng sumisimba sa mga mall like dito sa centerpoint. Isa siguro sa rason, eh para makapag-mall agad pagkatapos ng misa. diba?

hindi kaya intentional ang pagsimba nitong mga to?, hmmm.. ewan ko lang ah, ayun nga sa kasabihan eh -”nang makaraos na agad”. From those words, para bang napilitan lang mga taong sumimba at ang tono pa ay parang ISININGIT lang ang pagsimba sa mga plano nila.

nakakalungkot naman.

Anyway, its still an advantage para saten na we were given the opportunity para sumimba pag sunday bago mag-mall, kaya nga maganda rin na nakikiisa ang SM sa religious works ng Catholic Church.

ang importante, makapag-mass tayo at makausap si God before everything else. :)

“..spread the PAX virus..”

- nix

I love Babies.

Date: August 31, 2008

Place: Greenhills Chapel, San Juan

- on a unpredictable weather of a sunday.. kasama ko tita ko at ang ate ko.. we went to a mall para ipaayus yung cellphone ni tita, to have my haircut at sumimba.

Sa pagsimba namin, napansin ko agad ang dami ng tao kaya dun na lang kame sa may likod. Nasa unahan namen ang isang family, bata pa ung parents(about 28s lang) and with them is a cute little baby boy about 3-4 years of age siguro.

Late yung pari ng mga 15 mins. Kaya napunta atensyon ko sa pagtingin sa batang nasa unahan ko. Naisip ko agad, ang saya maging bata, at naawa na agad ako sa batang to, matagal pa nya mararanasan ang hirap sa COLLEGE. Tsk Tsk.

Dumating na yung pari, nagmisa, at naghomily.

Habang naghohomily at nakaupo ung family na nasa unahan namin, itinataas nung bata ung mga kamay nya na parang gustong magpabuhat sa kin. Gusto ko sana, kaso nakakahiya naman, sino ba naman ako diba? Kaya nagsmile na lang ako. Nagsmile yung bata, tumingin saking ung nanay at nag-smile din.

Share lang, isa siguro sa pinakagusto kong pakiramdam ay ang mag-alaga ng bata. Nakakabata kasi ng pakiramdam lalo na kung masayahin ang isang bata. :)

I conclude:

Soon, I will have my own job and raise my own family. I will try my best to become a good father to my future children.

Para san nga ba ang Friendster?

Alam naman natin na ang Friendster ay hindi lang basta basta social network.

Isa itong website kung saan pwede natin mai-share ang mga bagay na na-eexperience natin sa araw-araw.

Sa iba kasi nagiging parang contest ang Friendster.. kesyo paramihan daw ng friends or comments.. natawa naman ako dun.. eh anu naman kung konti lang nainvite mo na friends mo.. at least kilala mo kung sino talaga ang mga totoong taong yun diba?

sa iba naman parang ang friendster ang ipunan ng very important memories tulad ng sa family, friends and anu pa man.. 

maybe sa iba rin… dito nila nilalabas ung other SIDE o kung tawagin nga eh, the TRUE side of oneself.

Para din naman sa iba, ginagamit nila ang Friendster para maupdate nila ang mga family at friends nila.

Ilan lang naman to sa nakikita kong rason kung bakit merong Friendster. :)

I conclude:

…kanya kanya lang naman ng perception sa buhay ang bawat isa sa'tin.. kung kahit ano pa man ang reason mo about being a friendster lover.. ang importante eh you are enjoying your life. Maybe another way lang naman ito para maishare natin sa iba ang mga bagay na gusto natin i-share. :)